In my early twenties I became a vegetarian, and I stuck to that diet for 8.5 years, without really missing meat at all. But for quite a few reasons last year I decided to quit vegetarianism and go back to eating meat, I told myself, only temporarily. This is what I went through since the beginning and what I’m doing now, more than a decade later.
Excuse me for the very long post as this becomes pretty much a diary entry, a very personal recollection of thoughts and experiences throughout a lifetime. Obviously feel free to skip parts if you’re not interested in the entire thing :’)
My Initial Interest In Vegetarianism
Since I was child, I knew that one day when I grew up I’d make the switch to a vegetarian diet. I cared a lot about animals and like probably most kids, there comes a time when we make the connection between what we’re eating and the cows and the pigs that we see in the farms and on TV (I can only imagine the massive switches to vegetarianism that the movie Babe might have inspired back in 1996).
My family was used to eating a lot of meat (my country is specially known for its high quality meat) and we had barbeques very often, so I knew that my parents wouldn’t make the change with me if I asked them. I didn’t put much thought into it and I was perfectly fine with knowing that one day, eventually, I’d be a vegetarian when I grew up and was in charge of my own food. I don’t know if the concept of veganism already existed by then, but I certainly didn’t hear of it until many years later.
I was also inspired by some sort of bucket list I’d seen on a newspaper, where one of the suggested goals was becoming a vegetarian. I even wrote it down on a notebook to keep it as a reminder to myself in the future.
What Triggered My Switch To Vegetarianism
Things changed once I watched Earthlings, a documentary narrated by Keanu Reeves about the many industries in which animals are killed and/or tortured for the “benefit” of humans, including the food, the beauty, and the entertainment industries. I don’t know when I started crying, but I remember some point in particular when I practically started bawling. I was watching some of the most horrible stuff I’d ever seen in my life and I felt absolutely terrible.
Failed Veganism Attempt
After watching the documentary I decided to become a vegan–immediately. I had no idea how to go about becoming a vegan, though, I didn’t do any research in the beginning on how to replace what I was eating with vegan options, or what vitamins I should start taking to still keep my health in check.
It was around the same time that I came across a forum post online with a list of websites that offered certain free stuff shipped right to your house. I signed up at everything without much of a thought just for the fun of it, and one of the packages I received was Christian-based veganism propaganda. Pamphlets, posters, cards, and even a book about Jesus’ relationship with animals. While I didn’t care for the religious aspect, I read everything else, and it was having an impact on me. I remember being pretty annoying at home for a while, trying to convince my parents to join me in the switch to veganism, but they never did, and asked me to stop pestering them about it (I had become very judgmental of their food choices, practically overnight).
I read Skinny Bitch, written by a former model and a former modelling agent, and The China Study (well, I never finished that one), written in a much more serious tone. From what I’d gathered, staying away from red meat would almost guarantee that I’d always be safe from getting cancer, and that the illness could even be reversed as long as it wasn’t on a very advanced stage. I lent The China Study to my aunt, who had been diagnosed with cancer, thinking she could find it useful. She gave it back to me shortly after, telling me she had to stop reading it because it made her sad. I wasn’t aware of my lack of sensitivity and I kept being judgmental of others for a while (my aunt eventually passed, but it was quite a few years later). This is where I now understand why so many people “hate” vegans. I was a fanatic and I wasn’t even doing things right. It’s one thing to modify your own lifestyle, it’s another to get in other people’s business and persuade them into making such a big change in their lives with everything it would imply, regardless of any supposed benefits it could bring about.
In the end, my attempt at veganism was all a big failure when after a month of eating pretty badly, consuming mostly processed foods and pasta, like noodles and pizza, which were not very healthy but would still classify as vegan (I was never even used to eating a lot of vegetables), I started feeling very weak, and just plain awful. I remember thinking I had probably never felt that bad before; my entire body was not working properly (I either lost my period that month or it was very irregular, I can’t exactly remember), and I got scared.
Becoming A Vegetarian
I went back to eating meat for a while until I felt healthy again, and then I decided I’d become a vegetarian instead. I would go through an easier, more educated transition to veganism eventually, but for now I started with a smaller step, which in my opinion was already a huge step since I was “saving a cow” for every certain amount of meat I wasn’t eating whenever my parents were having that for dinner. I remember that when I decided to start it was maybe a day or two before my aunt’s birthday, but then at her birthday party, with the sushi and all the amazing food they were serving, I decided that the next day would be my definitive, official first day of vegetarianism, and it certainly was, for the next 8.5 years.
I bought a food processor and blender combo, I visited a few organic markets, I bought huge vegetarian and vegan recipe books, and I tried some healthy recipes for a while. But that didn’t last long.
While giving up on meat was easy (I was never much of a foodie), it was hard to find healthy alternatives that were very quick and easy to prepare, because another thing that’s very important here is that I hate cooking. I’m fine with making a nice meal every once in a while, but I’m the kind of person who will take three times longer than what a recipe promises it will take to complete, only for me to eat the entire meal in 20 minutes once it’s ready. It’s exasperating, putting so much time and effort into something that will go away almost immediately; I just don’t have the love and the patience for that, even if it means getting to eat healthier. So, I was more of a processed food type of person. Get something from the freezer, throw it in the oven, and it’s done. The minimum effort.
I would bring my own food to friend and family gatherings, and eventually everyone got used to my new habit. My aunt (on my mom’s side) would always make corn empanadas so I could eat something of what she brought to the table other than the salads, and my uncle Mario (on my dad’s side) would often give me a seed mix to add to my meals. Another uncle would joke about how I was going to outlive them all. My friends would make vegetarian meals whenever I visited (without me asking them to), and everything went pretty smoothly for a long time.
What Happened To My Health
Before even my first attempt at veganism, I’d been told I had a high cholesterol level and should try to lower it. Within a year of being entirely meat-free, my cholesterol was back to normal, which was great. However, and not surprisingly, I was now anemic. I was given iron supplements but since I wasn’t feeling bad, a month or two later I’d already forgotten to keep taking them, and I never took them again. I trusted that whatever amount of vegetables, eggs, beans and cereals I was consuming was enough for the iron intake I needed. I even remember my cousin telling my uncle at the table that I seemed fine, and there was no need to worry about me as much as he did.
And for the longest time, I was fine. I even got to be the slimmest I’d ever been until that point, and it was amazing. But some years and a few life changes later, I was eating very badly again. It was all processed foods. It was cookies all day long. Even being a vegetarian didn’t save me from gaining weight, and I got to weigh more than I ever had before. While doing some exercise every now and then was very effective with losing a few pounds, I never changed my eating habits, so the moment I stopped exercising, the number on the scale would go back up pretty quickly.
As a side note, I wanted to add that even though I never entirely quit dairy products, I was consuming very little since I discovered in my early twenties that I was allergic to it (but not intolerant). So while my pizza still had the same amount of cheese, and so did my occasional noodles, I consumed a lot less diary than what I otherwise would have, being careful with the amounts and keeping in mind how it would affect me afterwards.
At some point I started to feel weak, being aware of my lack of energy. I knew I should have been doing something about it but I didn’t. It was kind of ironic, the more weight I gained, the more I felt like a thin piece of paper that could break any minute, specially during my periods, when my anemia would be at its worst.
And then the pandemic hit us. While being in lockdown wasn’t particularly a big deal for me (I’m an introvert, and I like staying home), the multiple other consequences it brought to my personal life were doing a number on my mental health. I’d been dealing with anxiety for a few years now, and with all these many things happening in a short period of time, I was very overwhelmed. When this happens, not only am I mentally exhausted, but it also affects me physically, with headaches, stomachaches, palpitations and trembling.
I decided to go back to eating meat for two reasons: one, because I needed my energy back to function properly, and two, because since my food most of the time was different from what my family would have, making the daily decision on my own of what to eat was becoming very tiresome, and worsening my anxiety. Doing the separate grocery shopping and cooking vegetarian meals would entail a lot of time and energy that I definitely did not have at the moment.
As I mentioned above, I still don’t like cooking, and unfortunately keeping a healthy vegetarian diet requires a lot of it. And before you say anything about how meat also needs to be cooked: I don’t do the cooking at home, at all. So, now I eat whatever my parents buy and cook, and meat (either red or white) is something they cook pretty often. For the first time I decided to prioritize my physical and mental health over the animals I loved.
What happened after a year and a half of having quit vegetarianism and gone back to eating meat:
- My energy was back (yay!)
- Some of my gray hairs (which I started having since my late teens) went back to their original color (possibly unrelated, but still very interesting if there’s a connection; might also relate to my stress levels going down)
- I gained even more weight
- I was sick to my stomach almost every day
I want to point out here that around the same time I started eating meat again, I was also consuming too much wheat as I was anxiety-eating cookies all day, so most likely that’s the main reason I gained so much weight. I no longer do this, but that’s a different story entirely.
What I’m Doing Now
I would love to go back to being a vegetarian in the future, but at the moment I’m simply working on finding a balance. At one point I started eating less meat and adding more fruits and vegetables, but since I began my fitness journey with regular exercise, I’m having meat as my main source of protein, and I’m not ready to give up on it at the moment.
I’m a lot more mindful of my overall calorie intake (I do light calorie tracking, get a general idea of how much I’m eating but don’t obsess over it). I’m having a lot more water too, and many of my meals are simply vegetable salads, which are pretty easy to make. There may come a day when I’ll be ready to go back to vegetarianism, although I might try pescetarianism first (no meat except for seafood). As for going totally vegan, well, maybe one day, but I don’t really see it happening for now.
Other things I have changed since all of this started are the products I buy. I check before buying makeup and toiletries to make sure the brands are cruelty-free, and if possible also vegan (they tend to be more expensive and not so easily available). I still have my Ecotools makeup brushes years after I first learned about them through Alicia Silverstone’s site.
The truth is all of my health issues that came with being a vegetarian had nothing to do with vegetarianism itself, but with me being entirely careless about what I was doing to myself (girl, a vegetarian’s main source of food is supposed to be, guess what? Vegetables!). I fully admire people who can keep this lifestyle with the time, effort and money-spending it intakes, specially because they’re also being super kind to the animals and the environment in doing so.
Hopefully this gives you some insight into what it might be like for some people getting into vegetarianism. My blog posts will rarely be about my personal experiences but I felt like I had to share this as one of the first few entries, since my health journey eventually led me to create this site in the first place.
If you’re thinking of starting this kind of diet, you need to consider that you’ll still have to maintain a balance and that simply avoiding meat will not be enough. Research your nutrient sources, make sure you’re getting enough for your needs, maybe keep some vegetarian and vegan celebrities in mind as inspiration (some examples are Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman and Billie Eilish).
